1 dead after shooting inside ELCA church
(Note to readers: On Thursday, police identified the victim as 38-year-old Carol Parsons of Lakewood, Wash. Her husband, Charles Parson, 42, is accused of the killing.
Seattle news media reports that the couple had been married for 12 years, then divorced last year. The station reported the couple’s three children — ages ages 11, 9 and 5 — are living with a grandparent, who runs a preschool daycare at the church, according to the Seattle Times.
Years ago, I lost my sister to domestic violence and, as you know, take every opportunity with this news site to remember other victims and their families. Reporting these stories, however horrific, is critical to raising awareness.
Please remember the families affected, their counselor and the congregation, who are all grappling with grief. Get educated about the dynamics of domestic violence. Donate money or time to your local women’s shelter. Don’t be so quick to push traumatized survivors into forgiving the killers — it complicates the immediate grieving process.
Also, keep close at heart other families ripped apart by violence. A running list of known ELCA members or families impacted by violence from the date this Web site was started is always kept at the lower right-hand corner. I’m pained to say that this evening, Carol’s name was added to the list.)
(CONTINUED)
Here’s the story as reported when the news was breaking on Wednesday evening:
Wednesday (March 17) – A 38-year-old woman has died after being shot inside Calvary Lutheran Church in Federal Way, Wash., according to news reports.
The woman’s 42-year-old husband is being held in custody, police said.
According to KIRO-TV, the man and woman were “attending a couples counseling session when the man apparently pulled out a gun and shot the woman.”
The Seattle Times, however, said a police spokesman was unsure “whether the shooting was before, during or after the session.”
A Lenten soup and service had been planned to begin at the church at 6:15 p.m. No details were available as to how many people were at the church when the killing occurred.
The church is served by Pastors Lori Cornell and Douglas B. Chamberlain. Neither pastor was available for comment.
News updates (March 19:)
- Seattle Post-Intelligencer: “Charles Parson shots his ex-wife five times while their children played in the church’s daycare”
- Seattle Times Blog: “Charles Parson charged with killing his ex-wife”
- Seattle Times: “To help her husband get closure and find some peace with their divorce …. Carol Parsons suggested they attend couples’ counseling at Calvary Lutheran Church”
- Tacoma News Tribune: “She was scared of her ex-husband, friend of victim says”
News updates (March 18):
- King 5 – TV (Seatte): Video footage of victim’s brother responding to the killing
- Washington Post: “Bail set at $5 million for man accused of killing his wife at ELCA church”
- Seattle Weekly: “Couples counseling session ends in murder”
- Seattle Times: “Accused killer also pointed gun at church counselor”
- KOMO News (Seatte): “Church shooting suspect held on $5 million bail
News reports (March 17):
Calvary Lutheran Church
Resources on Domestic Violence
- Faith Trust Institute (Seattle)
- National Domestic Violence Hotline
- “Domestic Violence & Child Abuse” (Training for Clergy and Lay Leaders)
- The Rev. Dr. Marie Fortune: “Do We Know Domestic Violence When We See It?”
- “And What About the Good Samaritan?”
- Catalog of Resources for Congregations and Individuals
- Domestic Violence Should Not Happen To Anybody
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Many thanks to the Rev. Dr. Marie Fortune for her pioneering efforts, begun decades ago, to educate religious communities and others about sexual and domestic violence.
Thank you for visiting Pretty Good Lutherans. Come again!
Tags: Calvary, couples, Federal Way, Grief, NALC, CORE, LCMC, shooting, slaying, violence
The following individuals are known murder victims with ELCA ties killed since Pretty Good Lutherans was started in September 2009:
March 19th, 2010 at 9:47 am
I lived for three years in a violent marriage. As a man–indeed as a man in a graduate program in Christian ethics–I had neither the emotional ability or conceptual imagination to say “I am in a situation of domestic abuse.” It was in a Newsweek article about the death of comedian Phil Hartman at the hands of his wife in late May 1998 that I finally recognized myself. I wondered what the newspaper story would read like when it was about me. How many people’s sadness would be muted by their sheer surprise because the violence in our marriage was so well hidden from public view.
It took me 8 months to gain the courage to be ready to leave the marriage and another 2 months to actually do it. But that Newsweek story saved my life–vocationally, emotionally, spiritually at least, and perhaps physically as well.
One of the painful ironies of my journey out of violence was in the fall of 1999 as the violence in my marriage was peaking, I was teaching feminist theology to a class of students at Luther College. I remember trying to help the students (mostly, but not all women) understand the distinction in paradigmatic “sin” as often experienced between men and women. That in male-dominated theology the root of sin tends to be viewed as pride, thinking too much of oneself. Part of the feminist awakening was to assert that for women (in a patriarchal society) the root of sin tends to be self-erasure, thinking too little of oneself, allowing oneself to be the doormat on whom others wipe their feet. I remember needing to teach class that week wearing long sleeves every day because my arms bore the ugly bruises of the prior Sunday afternoon altercation. I taught that lesson from the inside, but stung by my own inability to act on my insight.
Every story about domestic violence shatters one more piece of silence. Every story, always “too late” for one person, may be precisely “just in time” for another person. That NEVER gives “purpose” to any incident of violence, but it compels US to break our silence. It does give purpose to the telling. So thank you, Susan.
March 19th, 2010 at 10:15 am
David,
What courageous sharing. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Susan
March 20th, 2010 at 6:58 pm
Susan,
Thank you for making stories such as this a priority and for remembering the names of those who have met their deaths through the violence hands of others. It is easy to believe that our faith somehow shields us from being either the victims or the perpetrators of such violence, but that is sadly not the case. Only by remembering and prayer that leads to action can we hope to defeat this enemy.
David,
Your honesty and bravery are astounding and humbling. My mother worked for a decade to bring a shelter for victims of domestic violence to our hometown. She and my father often discussed the reality that nearly all of the resources were geared toward women who were being abused. He would argue that far more men faced the same situation, but were even more constrained from seeking help because of a society that believes men cannot be abused. Thank God that you found the courage from the article about Phil Hartman to escape the abuse and come to a healthier life free of that kind of pain.
Thank you both for breaking this silence, one story at a time.
March 24th, 2010 at 12:57 pm
Thanks for covering this, Susan. I was out of the country when this murder happened, but after returning home and reflecting on the many times my family has worshiped at Calvary and how often I drive by that church–I am shaken. We live in Federal Way. For those who are members of the congregation–the need for healing is great. My wife is encouraging some sort of action to take back the space where the violence occurred, and she is taking our girls to soup supper there tonight as a means of showing care, solidarity, extending the peace of Christ, and living out the meaning of the word “Synod.” The shooting happened soon before that week’s Lenten supper was supposed to begin. I hope and pray that the people of Calvary find some peace in Christ and each other tonight as they gather.
March 24th, 2010 at 4:51 pm
Joe,
Thanks to you and your wife for your outreach and caring.
Susan